Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
