We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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