Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
