At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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