Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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