it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
