I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
