Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize