Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
