this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
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His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
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Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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