Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
