i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize