we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Randomize
