After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
