Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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