u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
