i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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