Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
