that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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