Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
