oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize