So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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