the condom got lost in my hair
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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