you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
