I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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