my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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