its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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