im drinking this country out of the recession.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
