Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
