I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
