i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
