I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
