I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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