You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So much rum. So many feels.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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