it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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