It was confusing and full of hummus
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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