wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
