I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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