Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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