I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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