I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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