Non-Jews are for practice
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
