The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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