Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
