woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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