when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
my liver is dry heaving
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
