Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
