I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
