So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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