my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
