Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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