We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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