Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize