Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
