I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
