Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
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This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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