RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
