I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he shaved USA in his pubs
false alarm. still invincible.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
