Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
