I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
